


Kanon

by toosmallcage



Category: Saint Seiya
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Character Study, Gen, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 11:35:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21457393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toosmallcage/pseuds/toosmallcage
Summary: The Gemini Saint Curse is reaaaal!
Relationships: Gemini Saga/Sagittarius Aiolos (Mention)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	Kanon

Kanon refused to wear that stupid mask, and Shion, knowing that this mask would only be the smallest of the grievances that Kanon would face, decided to allow him remain without it even if it defied one of the sanctuary's oldest rules and tradition. Kanon didn't understand why, all of a sudden, he was denied of even approaching the private areas where no one but the high priest and the saints were allowed. Yes, it was because Saga, it was because of the Gemini rule, but just knowing didn't mean it made any sense to him. If on top of that he had to go and wear that stupid mask that made him look more like some rabid dog rather than a person, Kanon felt like he'd end up really biting someone at some point.

He had the impression that Shion too knew this and that was the only reason he let him be. The old high priest had never treated him badly, but Kanon often felt as if he was nice only because he was afraid of provoking some a savage beast from waking up. There's a rule and a curse that affects those chosen by the Gemini cloth, Shion explained with nearly zero detail, so Kanon's imagination has had to fill in those unknown details.

He was cursed. And if left alone, if left free to roam, he'd curse Saga too. Kanon had taken this as the fact but it still didn't make sense, he still didn't understand. He was the same as ever, just because his brother suddenly had become a Saint didn't mean he'd suddenly become a devil, right?

Right…?

"Of course not." Saga said. "You are the same as always, we both are. We'll show the high priest there's no such thing as a curse, and once he sees it I'm sure things will go back to normalcy."

Saga's words gave Kanon hope. He believed and clung to that promise with all he had. Whenever the silence, the loneliness became too heavy he replayed that promise in his mind to give himself strength, to give himself patience. Saga came to visit everyday, and it helped a lot, but then, one day and without warning, that too changed.

"Saga won't be able to come so much anymore." The high priest said apologetically behind his cold and expressionless jade mask. "He will be busy looking after the newly selected candidates to the rest of the Gold Clothes."

"I want to become a Saint too!" Kanon begged and he was honest in his heart. It had been a year since he was sent to this abandoned isolated area of the Sanctuary that even the birds seemed to forget sometimes and the only reason he was able to endure it was because Saga at least remembered him and came to see him everyday to remind him that he existed, that he was valid. But now even that would be taken away from him.

"I will wear the mask! I won't approach Saga in public! I won't fight for the Gemini Cloth, even a bronze one is fine. But please let me go back. I want to become a saint too!"

But the High Priest, hiding behind that damned mask, looking like a wall wearing that garb, shook his head and said, with a gentle but terminating voice "You can't."

"I'll prove myself worthy! I'll join the fair competition. I'm sure I can earn a cloth!"

"You are worthy, Kanon. You are strong and skilled, and you could easily win a cloth and become a Saint, but you can't. Not because you're lacking, but because you literally can not."

Kanon didn't understand, and Shion knew he had to tell him a truth that would become, probably, the greatest of his grievances. He had never planned to tell this to the unfortunate twin but the High Priest could see a determined fire had ignited in him that had to be put down and extinguished completely before it consume Kanon completely.

"No matter how hard you train, how resolved is your heart, how powerful is your cosmos, no Cloth, either of silver or bronze, will ever choose someone who has already been chosen by a Gold Cloth."

"What…?"

The broken expression in Kanon's face was a torture to Shion. He was suffocating that fire, he was trampling on it, throwing dirt on it, killing it. He hated destroying the sincere willingness of this child, but there was no choice. It was a spark too dangerous to allow catching on.

"It wasn't just Saga who was chosen by the Gemini cloth. It was also you, Kanon. But there's only one Gemini cloth so there can be only one Gemini saint. Kanon, the only way you'll become a Saint is if Saga dies."

The fire, the determination, the light itself, died in Kanon's eyes when he heard those words. For a moment it was as if an empty shell had been left in his place, empty, hopeless… an unfortunate cursed shell.

"S-Saga… knows this…?" Kanon's voice, weak, broken, asked with barely enough volume to be heard.

"He doesn't. Neither of you are supposed to know. But I believe you deserve to know why you can't become a Saint too, Kanon."

It was the second ancient rule that Shion was breaking regarding the secret behind the Gemini saints, but he was hopeful that maybe by doing this the endless cycle would be broken.

"Don't tell him. Don't ever tell him, you hear me?! Never tell him!"

Kanon made him promise, and it was a promise that Shion would keep.

Next time Saga visited, Kanon was no longer the same person he once was. There was a darkness about him that wasn't there before, and the way Kanon looked at him was a mixture of emotions that left Saga perplexed at best. At times it felt as Kanon was angry at him but whenever he asked, Kanon would only get angrier and tell him it was not Saga but _ all of this _ \--and he'd gesture everything around him-- what made him angry.

Saga would promise him again that things would get better, and Kanon wanted to cling to that hope like he had always done. He wanted to believe, he wanted to and tried with all his heart, but the loneliness, the hopelessness, the isolation were starting to crush even more his already smashed will. And this time, this pain, wasn’t something he could share with his beloved twin brother. It was something he’d have to carry alone for the rest of his life.

As expected, the reduced amount of visits from Saga had a negative impact. Shion tried his best to fill in but Kanon wasn’t willing anymore and soon it became obvious that the High Priest attempts at keeping the younger twin company were causing more harm than good, so eventually Shion too stopped visiting as often as before, and that left Kanon more alone than never. Two years had passed since Saga was chosen Gold Saint. Two years since Kanon was forced to leave everything he had known behind to live alone a forgotten existence. One year since his brother stopped visiting him with an infallible schedule. one year carrying the weight of his curse alone.

“I can do this.” He kept telling to himself, particularly at night when his intrusive thoughts where the strongest, when there was no noise to distract him and the wind blew loud and cold all around his forsaken shack. In the past year he had grown close to the night, to the darkness. The curfew had become his favorite time because those were the only hours every day that he was free to wander around. He wasn’t supposed to do it, just like everyone else. but with the entire Sanctuary deserted, who would care anyway? He wasn’t even supposed to exist, no one would care for a ghost wandering around alone at night. Even if Shion had tried to stop him from developing further this habit, Kanon would have taken none of it. “You owe me at least this mercy, old man!” he would have said, and maybe Shion would have noticed on time that something was very, very wrong in Kanon’s heart. But if Shion ever noticed, he never said anything, and Kanon wasn’t about to go and ask for permission either, and so the darkness was allowed to continue festering, silently growing more and more and taking over what once was a gentle heart full of willingness, full of determination and resolve.

Only Saga would notice, but he’d never be able to reach out. No matter how many times he asked Kanon to talk to him he’d never give in. And it didn’t matter how much Kanon wanted to talk to him, how angry he felt, how betrayed, how bitter, he couldn’t put the weight of this curse on Saga’s shoulders too least he became cursed as well. Saga was the Gemini Saint, and these past two years of pure torture would be in vain id he was to end up cursing his brother anyway.

Kanon was determined. It was all he had left, the only thing he could take pride on still. Saga would become the greatest Gold Saint there ever was and his sacrifice, all this pain, all this loneliness, wouldn’t be in vain, and they would prove everyone that the curse of the Gemini Saint was nothing. At least he still had Saga, right? At least he still had his twin who was working hard towards their goal, who was doing his best to release him from this nightmare… right?

At least Saga understood him, right…? Right…?

But, did Kanon understood Saga? Was he able to see through the fog of anger and loneliness the meaning of Saga’s gentle actions? His merciful words that often sounded like pity? His loving gifts that often felt like charity? His hopeful oaths that often sounded like hollow promises?

The darkness was too cold, the fog too thick, the pain too deep. No, Kanon couldn’t see clearly anymore, he couldn’t think, he couldn’t understand clearly anymore. And then, when his brother fell in love with Aiolos --Because Kanon knew he was in love even if Saga denied it-- he felt betrayed.

What was Saga doing? Training the other Gold Saints-to be? What was he doing getting all buddy-buddy with his top competitor? What was he doing helping others take away from him the prestige they so desperately needed?! That Kanon so desperately needed Saga to achieve. What was he doing?!

Why was Saga betraying him like this? Kanon, who had been abandoned by the High Priest, who had been mocked by the goddess he once wanted to serve, was now also being discarded by the brother who promised that things would get better. Yes, things were definitely getting better and better for Saga, but not for Kanon. Never for Kanon.

But he wouldn’t be broken so easily, even if Saga had forgotten what they were fighting for here, even if Saga had forgotten about their promise, Kanon refused to give up. If Saga was determined to make things easy for others then Kanon would find a way, there, from the shadows, to make things even easier for Saga. He’d trick, he’d scheme, he’d deceive. He’d do everything Saga was too much of a coward to do, because Kanon refused to give up to this cursed fate. If he had to hurt the other brats so Saga continued to be the best, he would. If he had to plant accidents here and there for Aiolos to fall in them and luckily kill himself then by the heavens that he would! He’d do everything, anything it took to make sure Saga reached the top and no one else whether Saga liked his methods or not. At least they were effective.

And it was that sneaking around like that, being in places he wasn’t supposed to be, Kanon found out what would be the final nail to his coffin: The high priest was choosing a successor, and that successor wasn’t Saga.

No. No, no, no, no, no!

“Let’s kill the High Priest”

“Let’s kill Athena.”

“Let’s take over the Sanctuary.”

“Let’s conquer the world.”

“We could become gods, together!”

Saga’s reaction was completely logical, but it made no sense to Kanon. And Kanon’s insidious proposals were completely logical too, but they made no sense to Saga either. At some point along the way their ideologies had diverged, and though both of them were still working towards a common goal, that goal no longer served the same purpose.

Who betrayed who first, it was impossible to tell, maybe they both betrayed each other in some way, maybe neither did. Kanon’s darkness was overflowing and it was leaking on Saga too, and Saga knew it, and it scared him because he could feel it too, right beneath his skin, crawling and biting at him. It was plain terrifying.

“You and I, we are the same, but you’re too much of a coward to admit!” Kanon yelled and yelled as he woke up finding himself locked away in stone cell at Sunion Cape. He could have said it all then. He could have spit the truth out. “if you can’t become the best Gold Saint there is then die so I can take over it!”

But he didn’t. Why? Kanon never knew. Maybe if didn’t really matter anymore. He was locked away, left to die at last, and by his own brother no less. The same brother that promised that things would get better someday.

They didn’t get better. They never got better.

Saga eventually really died, and Kanon really took over. But things never got better.

Maybe the curse of the Gemini Saint was a real thing after all.

\-------------

**Author's Note:**

> I got overwhelmed by Kanon feels. I've always had a lot of feels for him. I love both Kanon and Saga very much but Kanon just... UGH! My heart.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this. Please leave comments and let me know I'm not the only one suffering for him. ♡


End file.
